Tag Archives: Old School

In which Ellie teaches me how to sound smart in high school English

Background: this weekend, I am taking a poetry class with my old high school English teacher. Seeing as my dearest friend, Ellie, is an English teacher. I asked her for assistance.

me: did you do my poetry homework yet?

Ellie: nope

i got annoyed that your english teacher didn’t properly punctuate ted hughes’s name

and gave up

me: ELLIE

i need something smart to say

Ellie: say something about art mimicking life

and life mimicking art

me: is that specific to these poems? or does that apply to all poems?

Ellie: then throw around “pathos,” “logos,” and “ethos”

english teachers eat that shit up

me: i only know “ethos”

can i just say that three times?

Ellie: no definitely say all three

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Is it too late for a major career shift (and maybe some time travel?)

I want to be a competitive Jazzerciser (sp?).

Thanks to @JTitus for the above. Also, if you want to compete and don’t have a team, singles are welcome:

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I can’t believe I forgot about “School Ties!”

Via BuzzFeed

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A NJ Grandma watches Jersey Shore: “They’re all nude in the hot tub; probably catching AIDS”

This is AMAZING.

Hat tip to @willrobinsoniii

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Me and Ellie in 50 years

Via The Daily What

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Thanks but no thanks, drugstore.com

I did not appreciate seeing this in my email…

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Speaking of science projects

I figured I’d take another opportunity to embarrass my poor mother.

In high school chemistry, my parents had the same teacher:

  • My father (a future chemistry major) built a working battery.  He got a C.
  • My mother (who never took high school physics) made glass… by mixing Elmer’s glue with sand.  She got an A.

I’m certainly not going to suggest that any funny business occurred… I’m just laying out the facts.

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