1) Pants On/Pants Off
2) Not trying to be a heinous bitch BUT
3) Every status of hers makes me cringe
4) This happened
5) Ok so
6) I know i’m a bitch but
7) OMG Read Right Away!
8) ________ is CRAZIER
10) ________ LET ME BACK ON HER WALL!!!
The above post (including title) is the verbatim copy of an email Liz just sent me.
I’ve been getting a lot of “job postings” slipping through my gmail spam filter, but this one caught my eye:
Interested in working for a dynamic and fast growing company in one of the most prospective market spheres? Then this message is for you! We are looking for a reliable and hard-working person, who will become an integral part of our team, an important link between the clients and thecompany itself. The position is intuitively understandable, however, it will require high attention to details, extreme accuracy and perfect self-organization and motivation. You must be able to work independently, but not hesitating to ask for additional information or instructions. An ideal candidate must also possess the following qualities: – U.S. work authorization. – developed communication skills; – ability to solve problems and provide critical reasoning; – detail-oriented approach; – being a fast learner. We guarantee you: – free training and phone support; – excellent salary and compensation (bonus) package; – comfortable work environment – work from your home. Your income level will based solely on your personal performance. All positions will be filled immediately due to our recent expansion.
I’m pretty sure they’re looking for a drug mule. Any other guesses?
Although, if Amtrak did run in a timely fashion, I probably wouldn’t be nearly as familiar with the Penn Station Houlihan’s as I’ve become. So there’s that.
I’d say thanks, but no thanks, however since I live my life on the Northeast Corridor, Amtrak and I are in a long-term love/hate relationship.
Some of you may remember that I have a bit of an adversarial relationship with Wendy’s. Well, despite lodging formal complaints and getting absolutely no response from anyone (I mean, seriously, I know Dave Thomas died 6 years ago, but is that when customer service died too?), I received a “WendyMail” today.
Thanks, but no thanks, Wendy. The last time you sent me a coupon, I couldn’t even open it on my computer. Also, I haven’t eaten at your establishment in 5 years, but from what I remember, your Frosties were subpar.