Wherein Barbara, Ellie, and I discuss Barbara’s future husband

Barbara: you might never see me again bc i might marry a sherpa in nepal

me: you won’t do that

Ellie: i love nepal!

me: b/c then ellie and i can’t be in your wedding

and deliver embarrassing toasts

Barbara: well either way i would have an chinese wedding

Ellie: well then karen and i will toast chairman mao

and we’ll dress up like red guards

Barbara: when you guys will have to come up with embarrassing things to do to the groomsmen

you will also have to negotiate my going rate

Ellie: i’ll fart in their faces

it will be great fun

Barbara: like how much money you will take until you had me over

me: ew, ellie, you will not do that

Barbara: GUYS if i have a chinese wedding will you negotiate a big dowry for me???????????

Ellie: if i get a cut of it, yes

Barbara: ellie, you are so materialistic

me: no, i’m a terrible negotiator, i always cave

Ellie: i’m a really good negotiator!

i do it with my students everyday

me: barbara, what’s considered a big dowry?

and do they only pay in cash?

or Chinese fans and chickens?

Barbara: well, it’s like a ritualistic thing

so it obvi depends on how rich the groom (or his family is)

but usually it is in cash

me: but if you marry a sherpa

he’ll be poor

they’ll have to pay for you in prayer flags

Barbara: karen, ill marry a rich sherpa, obvi

me: oh

like a trust fund baby who just sherpas for fun?

Barbara: yeah


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