Barbara: you might never see me again bc i might marry a sherpa in nepal
me: you won’t do that
Ellie: i love nepal!
me: b/c then ellie and i can’t be in your wedding
and deliver embarrassing toasts
Barbara: well either way i would have an chinese wedding
Ellie: well then karen and i will toast chairman mao
and we’ll dress up like red guards
Barbara: when you guys will have to come up with embarrassing things to do to the groomsmen
you will also have to negotiate my going rate
Ellie: i’ll fart in their faces
it will be great fun
Barbara: like how much money you will take until you had me over
me: ew, ellie, you will not do that
Barbara: GUYS if i have a chinese wedding will you negotiate a big dowry for me???????????
Ellie: if i get a cut of it, yes
Barbara: ellie, you are so materialistic
me: no, i’m a terrible negotiator, i always cave
Ellie: i’m a really good negotiator!
i do it with my students everyday
me: barbara, what’s considered a big dowry?
and do they only pay in cash?
or Chinese fans and chickens?
Barbara: well, it’s like a ritualistic thing
so it obvi depends on how rich the groom (or his family is)
but usually it is in cash
me: but if you marry a sherpa
he’ll be poor
they’ll have to pay for you in prayer flags
Barbara: karen, ill marry a rich sherpa, obvi
like a trust fund baby who just sherpas for fun?