So kiddos, from now until the end, Idol posts will feature our distinguished panels picks for the week and then any additional commentary below the fold. It was suggested to me that my Idol content was overpowering the rest of the blog to which I say “how is that even remotely possible?”
However, I’m still going to heed their advice and put my comments below the fold. I’ve worked in marketing and a happy reader is a long-term reader.
Chris and Katie took the week off… probably a smooth move on their parts, so instead you get top picks from me, Mike, and Amy.
- Top Male: Danny Gokey. I want to dislike him as the producers are giving him way too much of an advantage, but his performance was good.
- Top Female: Alexis Grace. She looked much better as the singing everymom with the husband in Iraq than she does now as a tripped-out stripper, but she was the best of the women.
- Top Remaining: Tough pick between Tatiana, Ricky Braddy and Brent Keith. Tatiana put forth a great performance. Ricky Braddy was ok, but deserves props for having no help from the producers. Brent Keith was good on a night when most sucked. I’m gonna give it to Tatiana.
- Top Male: Danny “Gorky”
- Top Female: Alexis Grace
- Top Remaining: Anoop Desai
- Top Male: Danny Gokey who smartly/strategically played up his “inspirational” story by singing Mariah Carey’s “Hero.”
- Top Female: Alexis Grace, but that’s really not saying much. I hope when she makes it to the top 12 that someone explains to her that pale girls can’t wear lipstick that dark.
- Top Remaining: As much as I would like to give it to our Indian sexpot, Anoop Desai, I just can’t. I was disappointed. I mean, I think he’ll go through, but I guess I’ll go Michael Sarver here. That’s also biased because as I’ve mentioned before, I’m wildly attracted to him.
Jackie Tohn made me uncomfortable to watch. As Mike emailed when she came on the screen, “Seemed like a 50 year old jewish woman.” More seriously… what was she wearing? Barbara said, “I could have picked out something better with my eyes closed.” What was she singing? What was with the dancing? Frankly, I couldn’t believe Randy and Kara praised her entertaining abilities… it was terrible. Simon got it right, per us: “you played the clown tonight.”
Ricky Braddy is a poor man’s Elliot Yamin. The judges feel the need to make up for the fact that he got no airtime by praising him excessively. Simon says no star quality and I agree.
Alexis Grace looks like a hooker at a truck stop, but delivered a solid, soul performance. Simon says “best by a mile,” but caveats that that doesn’t mean much.
Brent Keith was the victim of an obvious anti-country music and anti-American bias. I legitimately like his voice, but he doesn’t have the kind of stage presence I’d like to see. I am hoping the country music fans come through for him because he’s a real talent and is the only real country artist this year.
Stevie Wright was so bad that while watching I typed: “WHAT THE F*** AM I WATCHING? I can’t possibly conceive that Tatiana will be worse than this.” Randy says “not hot for me,” which is the understatement of the year. And Simon follows up with “you’re being polite, it was terrible.” Stevie’s performance did produce this classic judges moment: Paula “America votes,” Simon “but they listen to me”
Anoop Desai is safe regardless but disappointed me in song and style. What’s with the styling? I loved his awesome relaxed look of yore and tonight he looks like someone working in the tech department in a Jersey office park. Anyway, maybe it’s good that he lowered the bar… I still can’t believe that Paula gave him a standing ovation.
Casey Carlson had the worst performance of the night by a mile. It was a failed combination of bad karaoke and awkward attempts at making “sexy” faces. Maybe instead of seducing the camera, she should seduce the sound guy because he’s the only one who can help her at this point. Mike was really let down: “Has there been a bigger disappointment that Casey Carlson? She is gorgeous and sang about how much she loves me, yet still managed not to pull it off. She can still have her way with me, though.” Eric described Casey well: “she’s like the cross between a musical and Duffy with Tourette’s.”
Michael Sarver was solid and the judges love him. Although as Barbara reminded me, “Ehh I’ve heard that song done better on idol though. [For example,] Bo Bice.” Simon basically says: “you’re a nice guy, but not enough talent to be here.” So why is he still there? Because what red-blooded American woman doesn’t fantasize about a chubby, singing oil-rigger with decent neck girth? (I’m actually being serious.)
Ann Marie Boskovich makes a classic Idol mistake: picking a song by a classic artist that’s way too big for her. I mean, “Natural Woman,” really? That said, I forgot how pretty she is. Overall she’s mediocre and does get us a classic Simon line: “you could win best hotel singer in California.”
Stephen Fowler’s wife made a smart move in staying home. Seriously? I feel bad that he wasted the time to get dressed and even show up. Let me be clear future Idol contestants: you can not beat Michael Jackson, please don’t try. Simon was fantastic when he said: “I actually wish you had forgotten the lyrics.” “Terrible arrangement, awful keyboard. The last 10 seconds were okay.”
Tatiana Del Toro was the most normal/medicated she’s ever been. The judges suddenly realized she was the second best woman of the night and had to take her down a few pegs although Simon admitted that “actually, surprisingly, wasn’t bad at all.”
Danny Gokey is so clearly the judge’s favorite, I can’t even handle it. Honestly, I haven’t seen supposedly objective people this in the tank for a candidate since… our Presidential election. I’m just waiting for Chris Mathews to join the panel and tell us about the tingling feeling he gets up his leg when Danny sings. Gokey chooses Mariah Carey’s “Hero” which is a smart pick, but Paula’s already giving him a standing ovation when the song starts. Frankly, I just don’t like the tone of his voice and it sounds more forced than I’d like. When Anoop sings, it sounds effortless, not so with Danny Gokey. The judges fall all over him, except for Simon who tell us “back to the real world, it wasn’t fantastic, but it was good.” Well said, Mr. Cowell, well said.